Stupid things that work

I have had a silly problem.

During the summer, I hate being indoors. Odd for a computer nerd, sure. But if I have to stare at a screen most of the day anyways, I’d rather be accompanied by nature.

For me, I’ve found it to be far more pleasant to do your work in an environment where a hummingbird can just fly up and inspect you [1].

This isn’t the problem. The problem is temperature.

I recently wrote about my backup debacle, but I didn’t really share what the problem with my laptop was.

After cracking it open, the Apple repair folks found corrosion on the main logic board, or, evidence of water damage.

“Water damage? I’ve never spilled anything on this...”

It took me a few days to figure it out, but then it clicked.

At night, my wife and I like to keep it reasonably chilly in the house. I leave my laptop in various locations in the house to charge at night, usually on a surface.

Translation? By the morning, my laptop is ice cold.

For a computer, this is technically a good thing (lower temperature preserves hardware), however, when you’re a fiend for the backyard like I am, on a warm day you’re reminded of a little fellow named condensation.

“Son of a b*tch. I have to wipe condensation off of my computer almost every morning when I sit down...”

That was it.

This morning transition from the ice cold counter to warm or hot air had been slowly but surely causing water to build up inside the computer.

Desperate to solve the problem (when I have an idea or active project, I tend to be impatient about getting to it), I’ve been doing silly stuff like wrapping my laptop in a jacket or blanket and rubbing vigorously.

This morning, I had a thought “what makes a computer warm up quickly?”

I cracked open a file on my laptop (warmer.js), put in a JS loop up to 1 billion and let er’ rip:

const ONE_BILLION = 1_000_000_000;

let i = 0;

while (i < ONE_BILLION) {
  console.log(i, Math.random());
  i += 1;
}

Simple enough. Crack open a console and run node warmer.js

About 30-60 seconds later on an M4 MacBook Air, we’re ready to go outside—the computer is close enough to air temp.

Moral of the story: keep an eye out for things that seem stupid but just...work.

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[1] Call me crazy, but we have a hummingbird that finds me—whether I’m sitting in the garage or on the back porch—when his feeder is empty.